Hey, you. This year has not been easy, but thankfully you spent $119.88 just for all of your friends to judge your music taste. Here’s the real story behind your top songs of the year:
10. The song you learned for a TikTok dance before you remembered you clap on the 1 and the 3 and also you are old enough to remember Y2K.
9. Your favorite song from the real-life, in-person concert you went to in February when everything was so nice and easy and you had non-governmental money to spend on concerts AND overpriced beer at concerts and you were dating people who didn’t wash their hands and licking subway poles and drinking the sweat of strangers.
8. The song that you played at a Quaran-themed house party, complete with Jello shot syringes and *I Love My Germ Pod* Instagram captions with your roommates in March, when this was “like a free vacation” that would “all blow over in about two weeks,” and not “the End of Days that my Sunday school teacher warned me about 20 years ago.”
7. The "Friend Taking Care Of You/Personal Attention Roleplay” track from the ASMR album that you fall asleep to sometimes just to remember how it feels to have someone--anyone--other than your mother care about your wellbeing.
6. “WAP” by Cardi B (feat. Megan Thee Stallion).
5. The song you played excessively after your breakup last year, which gained new life this year after running into your ex, which made you think to yourself, “That could have been me,” but also, “Thank god that's not me," and then, most importantly, "Perhaps, in fact, I am the protagonist of my own empowering rom-com and this quarantine is preparing me for an extraordinary year of self-discovery or, in the very least, the rest of my lonesome life.”
4. A chart-topping hip-hop song from 2006 on your workout playlist that you exclusively listen to while running so you can ride the high of how hot you once were in Hollister jean skirt and your older sister’s Urban Outfitters tank top on the dance floor of your middle school gymnasium!!!!
3. The same song that was in your top three last year??? How does this keep happening you literally have never once played it on purpose
2. The song that you played on repeat as you stared out your window, took midnight walks, and sat on your front stoop every day from April to September with an existential title like “Still Alive” or “What's The Point” or “Did I Ever Exist, or Am I Just A Sim?”
1. Some random annoying song (okay, it was from Cats) you played 83 times on June 17th AS A JOKE and omg OMG now it stains the top of your list DELETE UR ACCOUNT